Try to understand this note as a way you are reminding yourself about an inner effort in your consciousness that you must make more strongly and for longer periods of time than you usually give it.  It is up to you to identify this indispensable inner effort.

There is no real or good reason to make this little note difficult for yourself, but you may be too neurotic to accept it.

Mentally say to yourself five times in your head, “I can’t believe I am agreeing to do this!”  Then try to understand the real nature of your stupid reaction about it.  It will reveal something important about yourself that you do not normally see.

You might want to try mentally repeating five times in your head, “This is not happening!”  Then see what happens after that.

Somewhere in your head there is a reflection of a glowing blue ball.  You do not have to have a direct psychic vision of it. Instead you are asked to intuitively know that it is really there somehow and that it means something about the way you are as an existential individual of a certain character and disposition. At least feel it a little before the next note.

Now picture it that your whole approach to both sexuality and daily work is too flat and boring, that you withhold yourself in ways that are not good for you, your partner or your situation. Make a vow to yourself to find ways to be more passionate, alive and creative in everything.

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